How to Friend Friends and Twinfluence People
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Times sure have changed. But have the rules of social engagement?
What would Dale Carnegie say about all of this virtual networking and online social interaction. Does his methodology work in new media?
Sure it does. With a few minor updates, of course.
I broke Mr. Carnegie’s rules today in a comment thread on a prominent blogger’s post. (No links; that’s not the point of this post.) I let my guard down and my unpolished opinion out. And I spoke far too frankly. (Oddly, something I’d never allow myself to do on Facebook, where “everybody knows my name”…at least everybody with whom I’m “friends.”)
In an effort to be thought provoking, I provoked. And then I got called out on it. On twitter.
Welcome to REAL social media.
But here’s the turn: getting “called out” turned into an actual call. A phone call. With yet another very prominent blogger. And there was a real dialogue. A clarification. A new understanding. That very kind person reached out a virtual hand to me. And we talked on the phone as we would in person.
Welcome to the POWER of real social media.
I learned a huge lesson today. Where I thought I saw a lack of humility, I found my own. My approach to commenting when I disagree with the content of a post will change. I will imagine that I’m standing right in front of that person speaking the very words I’m typing.
We all should. THAT is how you truly “friend” friends and twinfluence people.
Or at least I think that’s what Dale Carnegie would say.
What do you think?
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Tags: comment, commenting, Dale Carnegie, TwitterSmart
January 20th, 2009 at 8:03 am
FYI, Prominent Blogger (PB) #1 DM’ed PB #2 later in the day about a different subject. Great point about “standing right in front of the person speaking the words I’m typing.” The more networked you get, the more likely will end up being connected to the person you’re talking about – and being asked to explain what you mean.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Renee,
Since I was an very indirect part of the whole ‘thing’ (which by the way literally no one will remember in a few hours) I am curious to ask you one question. Would your initial question, before there was all this back and forth, have been any different if you were in person with the other party? Maybe it would maybe it wouldn’t. I think the kind of discourse that happened yesterday helps everyone grow because despite their high and mighty blogger status, some people don’t understand how THEY sound when they write. We should not just bow to these folks as always being right. Some have gotten so out of touch that they don’t even allow for comments to happen on their blogs. That’s not social.
Good job getting in the mix. Keep it up so we can all grow. It’s a tough world and sometimes people on’t agree with others and that’s a very good thing.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Thanks again, PB, for the opportunity to do some explaining.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Hey Frank,
Thanks for stopping by.
You know, I think if I would have said what I had to say in person, the smile on my face and the laugh I’d have thrown behind it might have been a bit more disarming and provided the right tone and tenor to further the discussion. I’ve spent my career writing for other people. For companies, products and brands. Writing in my own voice is awkwardly new to me.
My friends already know I’m a smart alec. And they tolerate my unique sense of humor.
Might need to give the rest of the world a little more time to get to know me before I start throwing my “zingers” around.
To that end, I will be using MORE emoticons despite my prior resolution to use them less.
I think the conversations like yesterday’s are important and I still stand behind my point. But I probably should have properly introduced myself first.